the last one to know

My situation is so clichéd, it is pathetic. I feel like an idiot. I am the wife who was the . Friends and family members for years that my husband was seeing another woman. I found out last month, when his girlfriend confronted me.

My husband had a foul temper, and we , but I decided to stay with him until our children were older. I felt a divorce would be very hard on them. When counseling didn't help, I it. He was not an easy person to live with, but I never suspected he unfaithful. People should not assume that a spouse knows what is going on outside the home. I trusted him completely and it never me he might be like that.

I cannot blame those around me up, yet something as simple as an anonymous note would have opened my eyes. The comments made to me recently include: "I figured you would have left him long ago," and "You must have known. ." Believe me, I would have thrown the man out if anyone had told me he was cheating on me.

In the last month, I get a lawyer, a therapist and HIV testing. I am angry and disappointed in those who knew but didn't tell me. Although the other woman who finally told me did it to him for dumping her, I am grateful.

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When people ask me, "Should I tell someone when I know he or she ?" I always say, "No, because that person invariably knows and chooses not to do anything about it.“ I still believe that is good advice. A cheating mate always leaves some clues, either wittingly or unwittingly. I believe the clues were there, but , you didn't want to see them.