eggs and baskets (2) who's to blame

I feel embarrassed and ashamed supporting Rick. He's planning selling his house, which is supposed to make us $500,000 richer, but I can't see that happening time soon. I don't want to become a pattern. I don't want to feel like I am paying for my companionship. a hefty price. It's so draining to be in a relationship like this. I wonder more often than these days, what exactly is the point?

VOCAB: access přístup k něčemu ... be caught up in st plácat se v něčem ... companionship společenství (mít společníka) ... draining vyčerpávající ... hefty zde: mastná cena ... lousy mizerný ... more often than not dost často ... pattern ustálený vzor, struktura ... stand sw on (a subject) zaujmout nějakou pozici (v určité věci) ... zone out přestat poslouchat, vypnout

Why am I so caught in the money fiasco? Why, when I have $30,000 in cash in my accounts, am I freaked out that Rick needs my support for a month, which point he'll have a ton of money which I'll have access . I guess I'm afraid that we use up all my money he'll run (it doesn't even bother me that he may run off with another woman) and I'll be left to deal with the embarrassment being fooled again, of not having any money and of having to work my ass in a lousy job.

When we try to talk about it, we never get anywhere because I get frustrated or he zones out. I try to make him feel bad putting us in this position, but frankly, I'm the one who's blame. If I wanted to walk away, I . I guess I don't want . And I hate that that's where I stand this subject.