eggs and baskets (2) freaking out

Rick says he is planning on selling his house, which is to make us $500,000 richer. Frankly I don't that happening any time soon. I should probably get up the to tell him to put his money where his mouth is, but God knows what his reaction would be. I feel so ashamed about him. It's as if I am paying him to stay with me. How embarrassing is that?

Lately I can't stop about all my flaws and failures. Like, why am I so up in the money problem? Why, when I have over $30,000 in my accounts, am I out to learn that Rick will need my support for a month? Not to mention that by the end of next month he'll have a ton of money which I'll have to.

I guess I'm afraid that we use up all my money he'll run off (it doesn't even me that he may run off with another woman) and I'll be left to deal with the embarrassment of being again, of not having any money and of having to work my off in a lousy job just to make meet.

When Rick and I try to talk about it, we never anywhere because either I get or he zones out. I try to make him feel bad for us in this position, but frankly, I'm the one who's to blame. If I really wanted to walk away, I could do it this minute. I guess I don't want to.