seals and lighters (2) tough spot

Let me tell you, I was a tough spot. I wasn't crazy about the idea of getting arrested trying to break a seal tank, but I definitely wasn't about to say goodbye to such a great lighter. I wondered what kind of emergency it would take to make them clear out the tank that I could sneak in.

If this was a cartoon, I figured, there would be this big red button right next to me said "SEALS OUT" or something to that effect. I looked around just in case there actually was one but no luck. There were just tons of kids screaming their heads and none of them noticed or cared about my Zippo. Which goes to show how much better I would be if I were a character in a cartoon.

VOCAB: be in a tough spot být v prekérní situaci ... something to that effect něco v tom smyslu ... which goes to show což jenom dokazuje, že... ... flip převrátit (prudce) ... hit it off padnout si do noty, hned se skamarádit ... I'd just as soon nejradši bych / to už bych radši ... it makes my blood boil to mě přivádí k nepříčetnosti ... not mix nejít k sobě, nefungovat dohromady

Come to think of it, people tell me all the time that I remind them cartoon characters. And I love being told I'm different. I love everything about cartoons, too. I love how you can't get hurt in them. You can have a train dropped on of you or flip your car five times and crash into a tree and still come out without a scratch. This is my kind of place. It's where I belong. I'm sure I would fit right in and totally hit it with all those guys. Besides, an eventful life I would have. Especially compared to the one I'm living now, with the dull routines, the nine-to-five dead-end job and weekends that consist of hanging out with people I'd just soon never hear about. well.

In case you're wondering, I never got the Zippo back. As as I know, It's still lying on the bottom of that damn ditch. Unless one of those cleaner guys found it, in case they must be having a great big laugh my expense right now. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my blood boil. Well, apparently zoos and I don't mix. Which is a of a shame, if you ask me, because I'm sure those animals and I have a lot in common, possibly more than you and I do.